Sunday, August 31, 2008

Twin Update

About three weeks ago we went in for our twenty-week ultrasound. We were excited to find out the gender of the babies and, really, that was the most we were expecting to learn that day. Sadly, though - we discovered that Baby A (a girl) was horribly compromised. As in - no chance. There were issues from head to toe - literally. Although Baby B (a boy) looked fine on ultrasound, the risk of pre-term labor and complications for him (because of her situation) loomed large.

In a matter of seconds, we went from clueless and excited to completely devastated. The doctor and ultrasound techs couldn't have been more kind and compassionate - something that we were able to recognize after the shock and extreme sadness settled in a bit. It was a hard day. A hard week. The difficulty and confusion of the whole situation was compounded by the fact that we weren't offered any options here in Florida. Even though the writing was on the wall and it was clear that this baby had no chance at all AND our seemingly healthy baby was at risk because of his twin's issues, our docs couldn't find anyone within driving distance to help us. No one. When we heard this mind-blowing news, I went from brokenhearted to furious. We took matters into our own hands and, by 6pm on a Monday, we had plane tickets for Tuesday and a 1:30pm Wednesday appointment with one of the best fetal surgeon/geneticists in the country. We flew into Philly, dropped Luca off at my sister's and drove to Manhattan the next morning. Once there, he confirmed the absolute worst, did some tests and then we had to let her go.

The whole thing was really hard. But, we are so grateful for the people we have in our lives. The support we received from friends and family was unreal. The meals, the time, the offers of help with Luca - not to mention the continuous phone calls and emails and all of the thoughts and prayers that carried us that week - and still do. We are very lucky.

All tests on Baby B indicate that he is fine - healthy and sound and out of danger. She is still in there with him and we will get to say one final goodbye to her when we meet him. We are welcoming that opportunity for closure.

After the latest ultrasound and this week's OB appointment, we are finally back on the road to being exited about this pregnancy again. Not only that, it seems if all is still well by twenty-eight weeks, we can again start thinking about having a birthing center birth - something that wasn't possible for us with twins.

3 comments:

StephLove said...

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss, Dana. And I'm sorry you had to travel out of state for the procedure. That must have really added to your stress at an already difficult time.

Mae said...

My heart broke for all of you when I heard -

susan said...

A new reader here (from Lesbian Families): what a stressful way to have to react to such hard news. I"m sorry.