Saturday, August 29, 2009

Hellos and Goodbyes

WARNING - graphic (defrosted) placenta pics below!

We had a really great trip to Asheville. Deirdre and Jackie's new house is amazing. They are still working on the finishing touches - but, even incomplete, it takes my breath away.

We happily packed a week's worth of activity into just three and a half days because there was so much to see and do.

Luca helped Deirdre harvest veggies for our meals from the garden.

Deirdre and I hiked to Douglas Falls.

Luca and Debbie hit a few smaller waterfalls on the way down the mountain.

We got a lesson in goat milking...

...and baby chick-rearing.

We visited with our good friends Susan and Michael and super-cute Baby Daniel.

And we said hello to new friends.

We also went to say goodbye.

Just over a year ago, we found out that one of the two babies I was carrying was sick with Myelomeningocele (the most severe form of spina bifida), a Chiari Malformation (resulting in a "banana" shaped skull), hydrocephalus, an extreme case of club feet, an irregular heart beat and some other issues that I can't even recall. It was very clear that this baby had little to no chance of survival and - in the off-chance that she did make it to delivery - she would have had a painful, surgery-filled, very short life. Not to mention the fact that her twin brother (Matteo) was at risk and that a very premature labor was likely. Debbie and I made the very difficult, but obvious decision to terminate. (There's a sub-story here where - infuriatingly - no one in the state of Florida would perform the procedure because, despite the fact that extreme complications were certain and imminent ((but because no one was dying just yet)), they wanted us to wait. I was already twenty-one weeks pregnant at this point and to wait was not only dangerous, but also close to being illegal. Ahh - the Sunshine State! We had to find a fetal geneticist/surgeon ourselves A.S.A.P. We were lucky to get in touch with one of the best and flew ourselves to New York, two days after the news, to let her go.)

So, one year later - to the day - we buried their fused placentas and her ashes on Deirdre and Jackie's land.

POST SCRIPT: We only told Luca what we felt he could handle, so he was only partially informed - knowing simply that we were burying Matteo's placenta - a symbol of the Tree of Life - to give thanks for his healthy baby brother.


Susanna said...

Hi, I'm checking in after a long time. This is a beautiful post. I'm so sorry you had to deal with medical non-care on top of Lila's complications.

Matteo and Luca both look so so great! Looks like you all have had a great summer. xo